Her favourite spot in the Coffee House was reserved that day. She had some writing to do and meet deadlines. Looking for a cozy new place she spotted a corner in the well candle-lit Coffee House. The aroma of brewing coffee with hot creamy milk and crushed coffee beans filled the air. Who said only smoking up could get you high?
After an hour of tedious writing, she was drained. Mentally and socially. She wanted people around her, to share her feelings with. To talk about her love for coffee and cats. To talk about her family, career and relationships. How terribly she missed socialising for an hour.
She is extremely good at building conversations with strangers and made sure they are comfortable in her company, but preferred only to talk over a coffee with her close friends. Like minded ones.
She loves parties! She would dance like no one is watching, with everyone. From the group of her long lost friends (equal to unknown) to her favourite set of guy friends. But she would never want to be the star of the party. She would not go around starting a conversation with every person in the name of socialising. She would still stick to having a small filling meal for dinner with her close friends.
She is a Shy Extrovert.
Roz Bellamy, a Melbourne based writer and teacher, wrote a piece for The Vocal which she titled ‘The Shy Extrovert and Social Media Introvert’. On attending a workshop for a memoir-writing overseas, she analysed how she suffered from depression and anxiety and linked it to Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Shy Extrovert, is a modern term that was coined in the world of internet. It does not hold a dictionary definition.
These are people who get exhausted spending time by themselves after a point. They need social engagement to stay energised. Quality time with people they are comfortable with. This include only a handpicked number of friends and family.
They are totally into making new friends and learning their stories, keen listeners and avid supporters. They welcome good conversations and humour. But after brunch and good food with 10 of their close friends, they now want to hit the solo button hard. They may come up with valid excuses to leave the party soon. Why are these people so complicated? So weird?
There would be a lot of instances where ‘Shy Extroverts’ are mistaken to be introverts. They stay quite and silent in the crowd of unknown but when some of them sit across the table to have a conversation, they are are the most talkative people ever. No, they are not double faced, its in their ‘DNA’.
Ms. Bellamy writes, “Maybe I am a shy extrovert. One thing that is wonderful about being an introvert, or a shy extrovert, or a caring extrovert, is that you tend to be aware of other people’s feelings. Maybe it is time for us, as a society, to move beyond the binary, and into a more complex understanding of ourselves and our fellow human beings.”